Beelzebub's Boozy Bargain or Why I Will Be Staying Outta The Pub For Awhile

I have made a pact with the DEVIL!

Ok well really he is not the Devil, although I am sure he would like to be described thus. Actually, it is my dear friend Jex (AKA Rev. Dr. Godzilla) that I made this evil, dastardly, unthinkable deal. We are going to stop drinking alcohol. *cringe*

Now for those of you who know one or both of us, you may see a few little hitches in this plot. You may think we have lost our minds. I mean come on, both of us work in the booze industry. I fancy myself quite the oenophile. I know Jex is an expert on beer, Scotch, whiskey and so on. To both of us there are very few pleasures that compare to finding that one special bottle of yummy and sharing it with someone! So why would two people so silly about their little niche of expertise deliberately sabotage that small bliss? We are not nuts, I promise.

Let me first set something straight. This is NOT some alcoholic, pathetic, religion induced "Hi-my-name-is," permanent misery we are leaping into. It is not about enlightenment or past sins or any of that bollocks.

Nope, its about our guts.

The other night I had one of my silly little insecurity breakdowns and decided to ring Jex.

"Jexy, I am miserable!" I whined. "I was suppose to become this great actress, live in a beautiful place and be happy. What the hell happened? Why am I such a fat FAILURE?"

Of course I can just imagine Jex on the other end of the line rolling his eyes as he explained to me that I really wasn't a failure, I just got off my track. So had he, he said. The problem was that I was not feeling very good about myself, haven't been for a long time, and I had developed a number of bad habits, over indulging in wine became the norm. Now I am not saying I was waking up with raging hangovers all the time or anything like that, but it becomes easy to put away several glasses of wine a day when that is what everyone else is doing too. Also easy to do so when you are stuck in a town with nothing to do. But, whatever. I am not gonna blame anyone else for my booze belly but myself.

So Jex and I have decided that we have abused our privilege to over-indulge, by being "lazy-ass bastards" ( I think that is Jex's line...) SO! In order to get back to our healthy sexy selves we figured booze has to go on holiday for awhile.

I mean, empty calories alone are enough to make you cringe. One small glass of wine is around 130 calories, a can of beer averages 200 and liquor is about 115 per 1.5 ounces!! I calculated what i had the other night and it was more calories than my dinner! And then you have to contend with the one too many munchies. Yes, back in college I might have gotten away with drinking a bunch of beers and then eating half a pizza, but lets face it, I am past that lucky stage of my life where consequences were selective.

So off we go into this endeavor. New Years we are allowed to splurge. We also have the inevitable tastings at work to contend with, but we can't really get out of that. We need our jobs. There is no set end to this. Essentially when we feel we have our sexy bodies back. I want to have my confidence back too. It's easy to hide in the glass when you have no goals and nothing to be proud of. Not so easy when you are on your game.

Who knows? Maybe it won't be so bad after all.....